What is it like dating a Samoan Man?

ANSWER: Samoan men are soft spoken and proper manners and respect are extremely important to them after the young age of 14-20, and possibly much sooner than that if in a traditional upbringing. The reason being is that at the ages of 14-20, the Samoan boys go through a "Coming-of-age Ritual" involving great pain and dedication towards man-hood, which is the Samoan Pe'a (Samoan Body Tattoo). The right-of-passage is supposed to claim that a man is born from Samoa, and that he must act accordingly, that Body Tatau (similar to a Coat of Arms), represents his family's Mana and Honor.

Samoan traditional tattoo 

Dating in the modern western sense can be a bit of a cultural shock, because of the nonexclusive western trends. In modern western Dating, it maybe ok to date 3-5 other men or women at the same time until there's an official bond made or some sort of proposal. In the Samoan way, this is not acceptable and the woman or man would be thought of as a whore or playboy with poor upbringing. In the traditional way, a Samoan man may also bring feasts of food, not the small gift of flowers, but large gifts of food to the woman's family, and eventually families would meet, long before wedding plans.

If the Samoan is born off-island or has been raised off-island, all standard of manners would depend on the direct family members. They are not likely to have undergone a traditional lifestyle and may not be dedicated to the preservation of Samoan culture. However all Samoans are usually very proud in their heritage. Also most likely the Samoa Pe'a will not be under-taken, and no transition into man-hood would have been claimed. Of course in this case though, being raised off-island the Samoan would be more exposed to other concepts of Dating, be more diverse in nature, and have a good open disposition to doing things differently, things that in Samoan culture that might be separated into man's work or women's work.

Comment "So to get down to it, guys who live On-island might be more strict but more mature and loyal, the off-island guys might be more cool, but unpredictable when it comes to dating. This is 2018, so I mean there are many many many raised in both settings, Samoans raised with traditions, and who have been exposed to a large array of other cultures, but still, most do appreciate genuine relationships and not flings"

Comment "Samoan men like their freedom to have a good time, and not in the bad way, more like with family, and they keep a strong group of friends to BBQ with and call upon during important times. If you're a bit anti-social and sheltered and too strict to have a beer and a good time, then you should probably not date a Samoan or Tongan man at this time. Many people get caught up in Career and Success, so maybe try to create a Family owned business if you're already in a Polynesian relationship"

Comment "If your man is misbehaving, talk straight and calmly, have a good conversation with him. Samoan men are talkers. Appeal to his logic but do not try and over manipulate him, make a plan with him and solve any problems"

Comment "Keep your man away from bad influences like a bad cousin who wants to party a lot, family is important and sometimes cousins or other family members may use that. Keep in mind however, a Samoan and Tongan man must respect his parents no matter their state of mind. Also the oldest sibling has a rank as a type of sibling leader and has family responsibilities and even legal responsibilities with that leadership"

Comment "At one point or another a house and land will become of great importance to the Samoan man, a place he can be at ease and settled. A place you and him can make your own rules and where he can build upon something. When that happens, go with it"

Posted in: The Ancient Tiki Answers Blog